


Mating Call

by Leviarty



Category: Leverage
Genre: Asexual Character, F/M, M/M, Multi, Other, Voyeurism
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-30
Updated: 2015-05-30
Packaged: 2018-04-01 22:24:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 458
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4036729
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Leviarty/pseuds/Leviarty
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>They’re going to start setting some ground rules. Like not making absurd noises in the middle of sex.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Mating Call

**Author's Note:**

> I have this headcanon that Parker is totally asexual, but loves watching Alec and Eliot have sex. I've been thinking about this all week, but didn't have a fic to write, so I just kept to myself. Then something happened at work today and this idea hit me.
> 
> It's maybe kind of terrible, but I don't really care.
> 
> Enjoy.

Parker is most definitely an odd duck. Nate called her insane, and maybe it was true. They still love her, of course, but sometimes she is just unbearably weird.

She doesn’t like sex. This is something Hardison learned early on in their relationship. At first, he thought it was strange, but he learned to accept it. Really, it wasn’t a big deal.

What Parker does like is watching people have sex. Sometime she watches strangers through the window, sometimes just porn. But she really likes watching Alec and Eliot have sex.

Which is all fine and good. They’re perfectly content to get their freak on with the thief hanging from the rafters or whatever. Hell, they even take suggestions, if she’s in the mood for something particular. After all, what are good partners for?

But they’re going to start setting some ground rules. Like not making absurd noises in the middle of sex.

Hardison has Eliot pinned to a wall. Hardison is still mostly dressed, but he’d stripped Eliot of everything but his boxers. He half kisses, half bites his way down Eliot’s torso, until he’s on his knees, tugging the waistband of Eliot’s boxers down. Eliot is already hard when Hardison takes him into his mouth.

Parker is somewhere in the ventilation shafts. They can’t see her; in fact, at first they weren’t even sure if she was around.

Until she lets out a **_squak!_** followed by a series of chirps.

“Dammit, Hardison,” Eliot said as Hardison all but choked on him.

“Dammit _, Hardison?_ ” he asked, pulling backed. “I’m not the one in the fucking ventilation, making fucking _bird calls_.”

“Parker!” Eliot shouts.

A ceiling tile flips open and a wave of blonde hair falls out. Parker looks down at them. “Yeah?”

“You can’t make those kinds of noises when people have their mouths full,” Hardison said. “It’s rude.”

“People could get hurt,” Eliot said, with more emphasis.

“Sorry,” Parker said. She pouted to show that she really was.

“It’s okay,” Hardison said. “Just… no more sudden noises, okay?”

“Okey dokey.”

For a moment, Hardison and Eliot just looked at her, though she was unsure why. She waved a hand at them. “Carry on then.”

Hardison laughed and turned his attention back to Eliot. “Where were we?” He wrapped his lips around his cock once more, and sucked him off until Eliot could hardly stand, even with the wall to support him.

“Well that’s hardly fair,” Parker muttered as Eliot came in Hardison’s mouth.

“What’s that, babe?” Alec asked a few moments later.

“Well, Eliot’s all undone and in his happy place, and you’re still wearing pants.”

“Don’t worry, Parker,” Eliot said, pushing Hardison toward the bed. “You know I always give as good as I take.”


End file.
